Hi lovebug,

If you missed part one of this post, you can check it out here.

I firmly believe that we teach people how to treat us, but I didn’t say a few important things about that:

1. Teaching people to treat us better can be uncomfortable. Actually, it IS uncomfortable—especially when you first start doing it. You have to speak up for yourself. You have to face potential conflict. You have to assert yourself at times. And then you have to KEEP repeating yourself until it sticks. With behavior change, one correction is rarely enough. 

2. People often treat us the way we treat ourselves. Constantly yelling at yourself internally? You can expect to experience that from people around you. Talking down to yourself? You may find loved ones doing the same. Losing patience with yourself? That behavior can be reflected back at home and work. 

3. If you have memories from the past replaying in your head where you were treated badly, maybe by a parent or a sibling or a past partner, you can end up attracting people who treat you the same way. In the energy work world, we always start with the earliest memory of an unwanted pattern. Why? Because that’s the original wound that your subconscious and inner child are teaming up to heal. And they try to heal it by recreating the same scenario again and again and again. 

The best way (I think) to teach people to treat you better, is to heal on a deep level. As you heal your memories from the past, as you improve the way you view yourself, and as you grow stronger within yourself, you will no longer tolerate bad treatment. 

Something in you will start to say, “Wow, that’s not okay,” maybe for the first time. Or maybe you will say it out loud for the first time when you used to always quietly think it. 

Something in you will switch on and you’ll start getting angry at the way other people are being mistreated. 

It’s like all the years of being talked down to, dismissed, ignored, talked over, disrespected or outright abused will bubble up and you will not put up with it. Not for yourself and not for anybody else. 

You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. 

It is an ongoing process to figure out how to get your needs met. 

Sometimes relationships will need to end, but often they’ll just need to shift.

Listen, you can’t get everyone to bend to your every whim, that’s not the goal and it’s not realistic.

But if you’re being MISTREATED (and only you can decide what being mistreated feels like to you), then I encourage you to muster up the courage to ask for a change.

If you need help, my Done-for-You package is a great place to start. 

You’ll get emotional release (100 emotions cleared and you don’t have to do anything) and a huge bump of courage to stand up for yourself in about ten weeks. 

It’s awesome.

Okay, take a deep breath….  

This stuff is intense, but wow is it worth it when you’re living a life where you feel seen and valued and cherished. 

Until next week,

Rebecca*