Hi lovebug,

It’s the last day of my Relationship Reset Flash Sale. The doors close at 8am PST so you still have time to grab your session before it’s too late. 

(Note: If you see yourself in today’s blog post, a relationship reset session would be a great option for you.)

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but I was a competitive swimmer growing up. 

I was a synchronized swimmer from September through July (yes, it’s an insanely long season).

In the summers, I competed on Chestnut Oak’s swim team doing the usual strokes: freestyle, breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly, etc.

It was a great opportunity for me to stay in shape, plus competitive racing is super exhilarating.

I remember swimming laps in practice and sometimes, usually with backstroke, I’d run into the hard plastic lane lines.

It kept me in my own race and, quite literally, in my lane.

I cannot tell you how much easier life would be if we had physical lane lines for interacting with others.

We have to do the work of figuring out what staying in your lane means for each of us.

Ironically, even though I spent thousands of hours swimming back and forth with the guard rails of lane lines, I have spent a LOT of my life hanging out in other people’s lanes.

I thought (!) I was being helpful. I did actually “mean well.”

What I was quietly doing instead was trying to calm my anxiety down by telling other people how to live their lives.

Even when I was trying to be helpful, I was being incredibly UN-helpful.

I still think back on some of those moments and cringe at my younger self running amok with free advice.

Truthfully, I was scared.

Scared that if I didn’t say something about someone’s health habits that they would die and it would be my fault.

Scared that if I didn’t say something about someone’s parenting that the child would be ruined for life and it would be my fault.

Scared that if I didn’t offer a solution to a friend’s problem that they would suffer and it would be my fault.

That's a lot of pressure I was putting on myself. 

Also—I was not focusing on my life, my goals or my vision for myself because I was too busy thinking and worrying and stressing about everyone else around me.

It sucked.

Royally.

For everyone involved.

When I learned that I was not in charge of everyone else’s life, when I let go of this notion that I was God and therefore responsible for everyone, when I let other people live their lives their way and stopped trying to control their every move, my life became so much lighter.

I had more energy, more clarity and more hope for myself and my life.

I started to trust that other people could handle themselves. I asked for consent before making a suggestion and then also stated that people could take what worked and leave what didn’t. I stopped playing God and started getting to be a child of God. And a child of God isn’t worried about everybody ALL of the time.

She gets to live her life.

It was, and continues to be, a totally miraculous realization in my life.

If you’ve been reading this and thinking, “Oh boy… this is me.” Take a breath.

You’re okay.

And, it may be wise to consider doing some healing around this particular tendency. Not just because it will improve your relationships tenfold, but also because you’ll get to focus on the one person who needs your love, support, energy and attention the most:

You.

Book your relationship reset session here and we can start untangling this pattern in your life.

I’m rooting for you,

Rebecca*