Hi lovebug,

I’ve been seeing a trend lately where many of you are doing A LOT for other people.

Kiddos. Parents. Partners. Friends. Fur babies. Neighbors. Grandparents. Clients. Community. 

You’re doing the most. 

And I want to remind you that you also are important. 

Yes, I know, you are a good person. Probably an exceptional person (if I know my community, which I do). 

You want to be a good parent, partner, business owner, sibling, friend, neighbor, and community member. 

I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU. 

And. 

Annnnnd…

This is a loving and gentle reminder that you are also allowed to have needs and to ask for those needs to be met.

So listen… you have MY permission not to go to the cookout or the neighbor kid’s birthday party or your friend’s daughter’s baby shower this week.

If you don’t have the bandwidth to go because you’re too tired or too tapped or too peopled out, you don’t have to go.

Another perfectly legitimate reason not to attend? 

You don’t want to go. 

This is your permission slip to skip. 

If you need some time and energetic S P A C E TO YOURSELF, don’t go. 

If you want to sit out on your deck and drink coffee and read a book, don’t go. 

If you want to just be alone for a little while and do whatever you please, don’t go. 

You do not have to be everything to everyone all of the time.

ESPECIALLY WHEN you have nothing left over for yourself at the end of the day. 

Mmkay? 

This will be easier said than done for some of you and that’s okay. Start small.

You don’t have to lie when you opt out, you can say this:

I’m so sorry I won’t be able to make it. I’m maxed out and trying to get myself together so I can do another week.

A person who has done their work will totally understand (and probably relate). 

If the person hasn’t done their work and has a hard time with this, let them work through it. Give them the opportunity to grow. 

Don’t rob them of that.

The one caveat to this situation is 1)if you are an integral part to an event or 2)if your attendance is really important to someone OR 3)if you’re not going will be bailing at the last minute. 

Bailing at the last minute or disappointing someone will break trust and will actually make your life harder in the long run. 

Don’t bail on graduations (or anything where a child is anticipating your attendance and is excited).

Don’t bail on weddings or funerals.

Don’t bail on important one time events (like milestone birthdays or special performances). 

And don’t bail when someone is counting on you.

If you feel tired and overwhelmed, take a nap, eat something nutritious, take a shower and go. Chock that up to a learning experience, plan better next time and also trust your first instinct earlier.

I’m not giving you permission to let other people down. I’m giving you permission to figure out what ACTUALLY matters so you can stop burning out by doing everything - especially the things that really don’t matter. 

Make sense?

Good. 

I love you. You’re doing amazing. Go drink some water and meditate for literally just two minutes. You’ll feel better afterwards. Promise.

Rebecca* 

PS: If you want help figuring out how to know what is important to you and what isn’t, I recommend you check out my meditation course so that you can know what you need sooner and ask for it more easily. Check it out here.