Hi lovebug,

Holy hell I got triggered today.

I may seem like a kind and bubbly person, but when I get triggered I go in one of two directions: 1) deeply sad and suffering or 2) molten hot with rage.

Thankfully, I’ve learned over the years to identify when I am triggered so that I can take a moment to cry and settle myself or, to take a minute so I don’t chomp anyone’s head off.

^{I’ve had my share of great white shark moments and they’re not pretty.} 

I can get so intensely triggered that it feels the walls are closing in. 

The room tilts. 

I stop being able to breathe normally, my heart races, my jaw tightens, my vision narrows. 

^{I probably look a big like a great white shark before they attack, come to think of it…}

Either way, it’s deeply uncomfortable and disorienting for me and everyone unfortunate enough to be around me at the moment. 

AND — to make matters worse! I can’t get back to work or whatever the heck I was doing (UGH!) until I get myself regulated again.

Here’s what I’ve found that works well for me to bring me out of a triggered state:

1) Identify what’s going on. It’s so important to know when you’re feeling triggered. My younger self would have benefited SO MUCH from having the time and space to feel my feelings and get the ground back under me. One of the reasons it was so hard for me when I was younger is because I didn’t know what was happening! My body was in control and I was along for the ride. When I can identify “Oh freacking frack… I’m triggered!” Then I can take a minute, gather myself, calm down and then communicate with the person who tripped the trigger within me.

2) Take some space. Insist on not discussing anything until you’re regulated. If you were in discussion with someone when you became triggered, it’s possible that they will try hard to get you to talk RIGHT THEN. Hold your ground and take some time to become sane again until you feel ready to talk.

3) Regulate yourself. My favorite method to self-regulate is the Butterfly Breathing (a.k.a. The Butterfly Hug) technique. You cross your hands over your chest, slowly tap one hand then the other (left, right, left, right), while breathing in slowly through your nose and out through your mouth. Continue until you feel a shift. It's amazing how quickly this one works for me. 

4) Advanced option >> Dig deep and FEEL before you regulate. If you want to get to the bottom of what’s going on, then try this: Before you self-regulate, sit down, close your eyes, and go towards the feeling in your body where the trigger is. Ask your body to show you every other time something like this situation has happened to you. Sit there and let the memories come up into your consciousness. FEEL the feelings from each situation. You may feel angry, sad, disappointed, frustrated, disrespected, ignored, used… whatever it is - FEEL the feelings for each situation. When I have faced and felt my triggers this way, I’ve experienced a lightness and an ease that I can’t quite describe. It feels like emotionally purging my whole system. It’s so freeing. 

** If you do the advanced step, you will likely feel more regulated afterwards. But if not, try the butterfly breath to bring yourself back into alignment. 

5) Identify what really happened. Now that you’re feeling calmer, you can take stock of what just went down and you can communicate with clarity. It’s LIKELY that what happened in the present reminded you of a memory from when you were young. Someone ignored you and that reminded you of your dad. Someone talked over you and that reminded you of your older sister. Someone shamed you and that reminded you of your great aunt Barbara. Whatever it is, suss out what is about the past and what is about the present. Own your part and communicate why whatever happened was so painful. Then ask for things to be different moving forward. 

Feeling triggered sucks. There’s no two ways about it. But it doesn’t mean you have to completely tamp down your feelings or explode uncontrollably. 

Handling your triggers by feeling and regulating is the third way.

One of the most unexpected benefits of doing Emotion Code® work is that my clients can identify and name their feelings.

Do you KNOW how much of a flex that is?

Huge flex. 

HUGE flex.

If you can name, it you can claim it. If you can feel it, you can heal it. 

If you can’t name it and you walk around feeling like a hot mess, those feelings often get shoved down for later. And then they show up as an unexpected outburst, self-sabotage, stress-related ailments, humiliating moments… that energy will sneak out somewhere.

It’s so much better to clear the emotions than to pretend like they’re not there.

Your future is buried under what you're avoiding. 

If you suspect you might be avoiding your emotions and your memories and all the things that trigger you, it may be time to pull your head out of the sand and get some relief.

Book an Emotion Code® clearing and imagine what six months of clearings could do for you.

Rebecca*